I miss you, the “real” you, the one I loved a long time ago, the one that wrote the sweetest of letters and morning texts. Now, it’s you, the same you, except it’s the real you, the one I failed to truly see. Whenever I think of you though, I see the wonderful boy I loved. Whenever I talk to you, it’s fine but you’re not you.
I guess I blame it on naiveté. I remembered that I saved those heart warming texts you sent me, completely forgotten for about two years. A couple nights ago I reread them and I couldn’t fight the tears. And the letters? The moment I received them I reread them about 8 times, but I safely stashed them away after that. If I took them out now, god I don’t know.
I want this new chapter to my life to begin, but I don’t know if I’m making the right choices about colleges right now and the countdown timer has begun. I’m nearing the end of finishing my college applications, but I’m still going to frantically search for schools that appeal to me right until the end. Each day that goes by, my attention to those college apps is dwindling cos I’m sosososo sick of writing those supplemental essays UGH
Anyways TOMORROW I have this interview with my speech teacher and I feel like it’s gonna be really awkward but whatever I’m gonna roll with it. I don’t know why I wrote this okie dokie I’m out~